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Time slows down almost to a grinding halt as I get up from my chair.

            There she is.

            I make my way over to her and I’m blown away by her beauty. She has the biggest, most beautiful green eyes, an adorable nose, and the perfect smile. Her makeup is light but on point; her eyeliner is so sharp it could kill a man. Her hair is a dark waterfall of soft waves that goes all the way down to her waist.

            Hot-diggity-damn.

            I sit on the bar stool next to her and I blurt out the cheesiest pickup line I could think of and she giggles in the most adorable way. She seems to be super into my chatting topics, so I guess I’m doing okay with this flirting thing. She’s laughing a lot though; I don’t think I’m that funny. Maybe there’s something in my teeth.

            I’ve only had a bit to drink, but I guess my voice sounds a little slurred. I’m not sure how long I’ve been talking, but it looks like I might’ve gotten the girl. Awww, yes.

            My mind wanders off into how the rest of the relationship is going to unfold. We’re gonna date and I’ll be the best partner she’ll have and it’ll be all romantic and shit. Oh, I can see it now. We’re gonna live in this cozy penthouse in New York and be all hipster and everything. Then someday, I’ll learn how to make rings and I’ll make her a ring and propose to her and she’ll say yes and gosh, she’s beautiful. We’re totally gonna get married and have or adopt two kids. They’re going to be the best kids who’ll visit us when we’re old and sitting on the porch of our little countryside house. Our grandchildren are gonna be little rascals running around the field and they’ll look up at us with their cute little faces and think we’re so cool.

            Man, this is going to be the b—

            Everything sped up again and I hit the floor hard. I hear a loud ringing in my ear and it’s cold down here, very oddly cold, but it’s nice against the drunken red on my cheeks. Maybe I’ll go to sleep.

            Bye-bye.

                                                                        ----------------------------------------

SHIT. OH MY GOD. SHIT.

            Did I black out last night? I was doing just fine with my future wife, what the hell happened? Where are my friends when I need them, Jesus Christ.

            “Hey, you alright? You blacked the hell out last night,” my roommate says.

            “What happened, and did I get that girl’s number?” I frantically asked.

           “What in the shitting hell … what gir— Oh. You blurted out something about a girl across the bar and drunkenly got up to go talk to her but you fell down ’cause you were so fucked up. That was a terrible pickup line by the way. Everybody laughed at it.”

            “No no no no, fuuuuuuuuck! I’m never gonna be able to set foot in that bar without ridicule. Shit!”

            “Nope. Good luck, Casanova.”

            “Oh, shut up.”

TIME IN A BOTTLE
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